Die Wichtige Fragen

(Translation: The Important Questions)

1. How is it possible, that after several days of holding back the evil minions of a nasty cold while working seventeen hour days, that on the last day of the conference a little man somewhere down in the churning depths of my endless brainial cogs declared a holiday for all of my cold warriors? And should I celebrate the victorious battle to make it through the last day of the conference, or should I chastise them for going MIA because they didn't QUITE defeat the enemy before the battle was over?

2. Why is it that berry flavored Nyquil tastes just as nasty as regular Nyquil?

3. Why do I feel the need to put wishbones on the windowsill to dry, even though they have dried just fine on the counter? Do you think it's because my mom did this, and do you think that she did it to really get it dry, or just to keep it out of reach so we wouldn't fight over a silly piece of calcified poultry collarbone?

4. How did my cucumbers turn to mush over the past two weeks without me noticing, and then creep in to infect my perfectly lovely carrots so that I couldn't make myself scratch chicken noodle soup today?

5. Why is my sweet hubby so cursed with OOOPSES this week, much to his own torment, and why does this make me love him even more?

6. How is it possible to find a movie that I love even more than Emma (with Gwyneth), so that now I have to go spend my Best Buy reward points to purchase Young Victoria instead of waiting for Clash of the Titans to come out?

7. And how is it possible to have a spring of neverending water pouring out of my face, when I am pretty sure that there isn't any left in my double-barreled spout?

8. Why are baby doves so gosh darn hard to find when they fall out of a nest, and why do I decide to wear a polka-dotted dress as a mu-mu outside at night to make the neighbors drive REALLY slowly as they pass by, wondering why I am up on a ladder with a spotlight next to our blue spruce?

9. How do little cockatiels learn to recognize people noises (names omitted to protect the innocent) so well that they know EXACTLY who is in the house at any given time and will call out that person's name when they hear said (anonymous) noises?

10. Why do I turn to mush when C brushes his foot against mine while we are sleeping, and when did feet become such a wonderful, intimate thing?

11. Why does my fridge howl like a ghost at night so that every night I regret not spending another $300 on that ONE appliance?

12. Will the sun come out tomorrow, or will we get to enjoy more lovely, refreshing snow in May?

13. Why am I such a technology nerd that I think Vlingo is the best thing since sliced bread, and I spend my sick days loading up my iPhone with cool new stuff I will probably never use? (Except the app that turns my 3G camera into a video camera. Woot-woot!!!)

14. And finally, why am I blogging at 1:18 AM in the morning when I could be snuggled up to the cutest guy ever? (Please see #1 and #7)