Once Upon a Spoonful of Brewer's Yeast

This video hit disturbingly close to home.

Grandma was a nurse. When we visited her, she felt it was her sworn duty to detox us from the white bread and sugar we often ate at home. Do you know what happens when you feed a kid whole wheat when they are used to white? One word: fiber.

She had a glass blender on her counter in which she tossed ingredients like dandelion greens to make green smoothies. I remember her admiring a huge dandelion on a neighbor's lawn and asking for an instrument to dig it out of the ground so she could take it home.

Whenever we were grumpy or tired, she offered us applesauce, but it always tasted funny (due to the vitamin C tablets she crushed up in each dish). Her soybean (the primary ingredient in tofu) cheesecake often went untouched at family events, and candy or sugar of any kind was forbidden inside of the walls of her home.

Brewer's yeast was called "happy juice" in my home, because it made kids happy, er, at least those who would drink it. Yep, I was the kid who ate all of the healthy food and liked it. For those who don't know, Brewer's yeast is the primary ingredient in B Vitamin complex. I don't know about it removing warts like this video claims, but it often made you break out when you started taking it, and if you kept taking it, it kept your complexion clear.

Some of that healthy-stuff rubbed off on my dad. We had a capsule maker at home, and these were often filled with Barley Green, Bee Pollen, Golden Seal, or some other cure-all of the week. The handful of pills plunked down on the table in the video above was not an unlikely site, although we always maintained our own will on the matter.

I personally never got into the pill-ordeal, as exciting as it might seem, except to help fill capsules for my dad, and nobody in my family got into the bubble mushroom tea, although a woman I lived with did. That was just weird.  These days it's essential oils, which I still don't subscribe to, but to each their own. That's what makes this a free country, with liberty to follow health fads for all!

Words from a Wise Husband

"There are three things you have to remember," he said, after listening to me ponder out loud the rate of my exuberant weight gain.

"First, you are going to put on weight, and you shouldn't worry about it. You eat healthy and you take good care of yourself. Second, it will take you twice as long to take the weight off as it took to put it on. Your age makes it a little more challenging to take weight off than it would if you were a twenty-year old. Third, you will lose all of the weight you put on."

I thought about his words of wisdom with gratitude, then eagerly added, "Because I have a great husband who will make sure I get a break from the twins to get a workout in."

"That's right," he said.

Black Outs

This morning I woke at 1:00 to replace the ice on my foot, take more Perc with food, and couldn't get back to sleep for some time. Maybe it had something to do with what I ate with my pain pills. Nothing sounds yummy at 1:00 AM, so I opted for Dreyer's Slow Churned Pumpkin ice cream. Sugar + girl who rarely eats sugar + 1AM = Wakey wakey.

I pulled out my phone and texted my dad to thank him for being there for me, and to make a date for next week when we could go hang out. I then texted my mom to reply to her question about what I wanted for my birthday. I guess she doesn't turn off notifications at night because I received the following text:

Do you know it is four thirty in the morning? 

Needless to say, I decided that texting my mom at four thirty in the morning isn't the best decision because she will definitely get the message.

I finally fell asleep for a few hours, and then woke to see the sun coming up and peeked out the window to see a lovely bank of pink clouds sweeping across the sky. I then limped off to the kitchen to find something to eat with my pain pills and refill my ice packet. A few minutes later C walked down the hall to the kitchen to see my feet only stretched out on the floor. I looked up at him from the cool slate, "I was going to pass out, so I decided to lie down."

"What are you doing in here?"

"I needed to eat something with my pain pills," I said.

"Don't you know that's what I'm here for?"

"Well, I didn't want to wake you up..."

Back in bed, breakfast arrived in all of its glory, along with anything else my heart desired.

I Have To Take Off My Pants....

...for foot surgery?



I visited the doctor recently about a painful ganglion growth in the joint of my foot. He did an ultrasound on it and found that it was larger than I thought. After several months of Rx anti-inflammatories, I determined that running and walking weren't getting any easier and I needed to have the growth removed. The doc also took an ultrasound look at my plantar fasciitis and found that it is still inflamed. He recommended some exercises that would strengthen my feet. He mentioned that regular running shoes are like casts for our feet and serve to weaken them, causing injuries like PF.


I told him that I run in Vibrams, which he seemed very pleased with, however, he recommended that I needed to build up the muscles in my feet to help me become a better runner and reduce the PF flare-ups. He gave me an article written by a couple of podiatrists who studied African runners' feet. Top running coaches (like Ivy league coaches) also focus on feet strengthening exercises since regular running and walking shoes significantly weaken the foot muscles.


Today I went for surgery. We'd planned on a later time so that C could make it, however, yesterday I received a call that it was earlier than I had planned. C felt really bad, and I confess I didn't handle the idea of surgery without my bestest buddy too well, but we ultimately made the most of it. My cute dad stepped in to stay at the hospital and C would take over once I came home. It worked out great.


Things that I said today:


"I have to take my pants off for foot surgery?"


"Can I get a robe that doesn't have a hole in the chest area?"


"Please don't cut any nerves in my foot."


"I am kind of ticked because I told you to use my left arm and you ignored me [resulting in a gusher all over the bed. My left arm has huge veins that even the worst phlebotomists can't miss]."



First words out of surgery, "When can I start running?"





To nurse Larry, "This is the best dad in the world. Just thought you should know that."



Things I heard today:


"You can wear these shorts if you want to. Wait, are these smalls? They are HUGE!"






"Oh, it's not a tear, but I guess we can tape that shut for you."


Anesthesia student, "This is the stuff that's going to make you feel HAPPY. When you wake up, you'll feel pretty great."


"The ganglion was the size of a nickle round, and two nickles stacked in thickness. It was pressing down on the nerve in your foot. You should feel much better once it mends. [Positioned inside of the joint of my big toe, right where your foot bends every time you take a step.]"

"It'll be easier to maintain the pain than to catch up. Take these as soon as possible."


"You won't remember any of this conversation. [I can recall it word for word.]"




This morning before surgery I had a list of things I wanted to get done. I needed to meet with our Website chair. I wanted to clean the shower, scrub the toilets, finish some laundry, and vacuum the living room. I also wanted to buy a shadow box for C's new marathon metal and return some items to Best Buy. I was up until midnight the night before sweeping, dusting, and doing dishes since I would be down for four days. Surprisingly, I pulled it all off before my dad arrived at 10:30 AM. It's amazing what you can accomplish in a couple of hours.


C met me after the surgery with some Chic-fil-A soup, and made me super comfy, bought me whatever I wanted, made dinner that night, and later bought me a care package including a card that said, "As you're recovering, Just Relax - put your feet up... Have people bring you things... You know...
PRETEND YOU'RE A MAN."


Thanks to Dad, C, and all of the nice people who made my experience a great one today, even with all of my crazy comments!






Disclaimer: This entry written while on drugs.