My Man Does Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was rather unique. C, whose many talents do not normally include cooking handled the meal for the first time ever.


Dinner consisted of yam casserole, turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, rolls, salad, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, and more. He cooked, he served, and he cleaned while I kept my puffy feet up. As shown here, the normal puffy state of my feet and legs. It's kind of cool because you can push on my legs and they stay dented. The Cabbage Patch puffy state would really freak you out.


My dad and brother joined us for dinner, which was delightful. They left shortly after we ate so I could take a nap and watch a movie. It was the best day ever.

Black Yesterday was a perfectly golden day. We didn't race off to fist-fights and cat-fights over inexpensive electronics or camp out to purchase game consoles at 4:00 AM. We didn't drive angrily around treating other people like obstacles instead of human beings. We just took it easy and enjoyed the brisk, but sunny day.

For C's birthday I surprised him in bed with a Petit Four topped with a candle, presents, and his two biggest fans, Penny and Kawi. They really TRIED to get along, but wound up competing for his attention, Penny with kisses and snuggles, and Kawi with copycat yawns. Oh, and yes, that squawk at the beginning is Kawi telling Penny that he isn't happy she's snuggled up to HIS C.

Birdie Contraband

We have certain limitations around our house. There are some items that are simply forbidden because they create trauma for our little birds. One item is brightly colored gloves. Penny nearly had a heart attack when the man delivering our jetted tub showed up with orange gloves.

Balloons are spheres of terror. At both of my baby showers I had to leave this paraphernalia behind, much to the delight of young attendees. Despite my filtering efforts, the birds STILL got freaked out by the gift bags.

Finally, I can't tell you how many kind friends have brought over plants as gifts. Poinsettias are especially poisonous to our very curious little crew, and there are a few others that fall in that category as well. Silk plants are a favorite of Kawi's, but fortunately they do no harm.

On another note, Penny has finally adapted to her new corner stand (after several modifications), and I have finally been able to look at her without disdain lately because the stand catches most of her mess. We have decided to be friends after all.

Busted!

Penny likes to bully Kawi. It's a conure thing, I'm pretty sure. She is very sweet, cuddly, and very bossy and territorial. One day I found Kawi in the garbage can because Penny wanted his stand. Despite his attempts to ward her off, she continues to win the battle for Kawi's bathroom stand unless we intervene. Here is a video of her getting caught in the act of invasion:

Penny Encounters a Penny

Are the Birds Dead or Something?

First, Kawi survived his vet appointment. Penny was quite sweet and let the vet check her without much ado, minus a few escape jumps back to me. Kawi was a different story. After a rigorous struggle complete with heart-wrenching cries, the vet checked his wings, felt his breastbone, weighed him, inspected his beak, eyes, nose, then handed him back to me and said, "Well he's kind of dramatic." Indeed.

We were thinking of having the vet bird-sit them while on vacation, but somewhere between the institutional room, distressed cockatiel sitting on the floor, and $600 worth of required medical tests, I had a change of heart. Also, my request for the birds to be taken out of their cages for at least an hour a day was met with some waffling, followed by a rather insincere yes.

On second thought, I think we'd come home to two very distressed birds and a much lighter pocketbook.

Bird Beater

I am the official bird abuser. When the birds need their wings clipped, I am the one with the scissors in my hand so they won't fly off and become kitty litter.

Tomorrow I take our 1 year old conure and our three year old cockatiel to their first vet appointment. Sigh. I am already the mean parent. Stay tuned for the gory results of Kawi being handled by a man with gloves on. It's gonna get ugly folks.

Trouble on the Frontier

Owning a bird seems simple. You put food in the food tray and water in the water tray, and the bird sits in its cage and sings, right? Wrong. The truth is, when you get a handfed baby bird, it imprints on you and thinks you should never, ever be out of sight. It thinks that it belongs on your shoulder while you sleep, sweep, cook, clean, talk with friends, and when it gets jealous, it does something drastic so that you will pay attention to it. It longingly watches out of the window while you mow the lawn or shovel the walks. It would rather be with you than eat, sleep, or drink.

Most of us don't even consider the possibility of bonding with a bird because they surround us every day. They poop on our cars, they pick carrion in the middle of the road, and they certainly don't cuddle.

We have two very unique little birds. When you place one beside the other, it becomes very apparent how unique their personalities are. Take for instance a little habit that Kawi has had for years of shredding a single piece of toilet paper into tiny little balls. He is so meticulous and careful that it is really quite impressive how consistent the results turn out:

Now take Penny. She was still a baby when she met Kawi and decided that she, too, should shred toilet paper, however, she does so in a slightly less delicate fashion:

Birds are very sensitive to sound and sight. Every noise you make holds some meaning. That bright red fingernail polish turns beloved fingers into a foreign object.

This past weekend we moved Kawi from the room he has occupied for the past three years. After his first night in this new room, Kawi woke in a terrible fright and thrashed in his cage until C took him out. He must have hurt himself because for the next few days, he was the most tender and loving bird in all of the world, craving at every instance a head scratch, and not biting us to let us know he was finished with our affection.

I know it sounds lovely, but this simply wasn't our Kawi. At last he is starting to come back around and regretfully is back to his old ways. Penny handled the move like a champ, but Kawi is still adapting to us moving him out of the newly designated baby room. Sigh. Can't wait until December...

Unter der Linde

One of my favorite German poems is Unter der Linde. Whenever I hear someone describe the German language as "ugly" or "harsh," I muse at their ignorance, for they have never read the words of Walther von der Vogelweide, Goethe, Friedrich Schiller, or Eichendorff.

The poem, written by minstrel Vogelweide, describes an interchange between two lovers beneath a Linden tree, espied only by a "little bird" hidden within its branches. The "little bird" referenced Vogelweide himself; the German word for bird being "Vogel."

On these beautiful early summer evenings, we frequently toss a blanket on the grass under one of the apple trees. Our Penny purrs in delight as we set her amidst the branches, where she deems it her sworn duty to hastily clear every branch of leaves in rapid-fire succession. We lie on the blanket amidst a shower of leaves while Kawi transforms into that angel we knew in times past, begging for a head scratch, eager to learn a new word or song.

Occasionally Kawi musters up the confidence to sit aloft among the branches with Penny, crying for backup when one too many doves or sparrows flies in for closer inspection. For the most part, they are quite content as long as they can keep an eye on us, the lovers Under der Linde.

And the winner is!!!

"Turn left at the next light or your collar will get it."
After six pairs of destroyed earrings, I have finally learned to take my earrings off BEFORE letting Penny sit on my shoulders. She can do more damage in ten seconds than Kawi can in a month, little Miss Jaws of Steel. Fortunately she's not a biter. Griffy, C's brother's Conure is capable of turning a shirt into Swiss cheese throughout the duration of a football game. Kawi is more like a cuticle lancet. If you are diabetic, you would never need a lancet again.

Speaking of skin piercing, last night I dreamed that despite attempts to cover myself, I kept getting bit by mosquitoes. I know exactly where the dream came from. It was deeply rooted in the source of my much disturbed sleep. I tried to rationalize my antisocial exhausted self into thinking that sleeping all day may be a better option than going to church, but that would be like unto fasting after forty days and nights without food in the wilderness. I wasn't sure what to expect, but due to the interventions of a close friend and a single phrase in a hymnbook, I was able to justify dragging my unmotivated self there.

I have come to the conclusion that I am a winner. If there was an Olympic metal offered for having one's intentions called into question, I would hands-down be the world champion. Oddly enough, it always seems to be those instances where I am trying to help. After much grief over the ease of others to doubt or question the things I say or do, I am beginning down the path of peace.

It started with these words: 'Tis not in man they put their trust, nor on his arm rely.

Suddenly it clicked. I had been angry, frustrated, and saddened by the fact that I was being called into question when I knew that the Lord knew that my intentions were pure. Suddenly I was free to say, "It's my own fault! I can't be angry at anyone but myself, because I put my trust in the arm of flesh rather than the arm of God." I know better. I have read that phrase a hundred times and committed it to memory, and yet here I am, letting these pesky mosquitoes disturb my inner peace.


Man, whose breath is in his nostrils cannot see into my heart. My part is not to grieve over their interpretations of me, but to turn to God and hold fast to his teachings. Shame on me for faltering. I own my relationship with God and with man, and I determine which one of those relationships weighs heavier. Somehow lately I have put man in the driver's seat. I don't know how it happened, but it was a serious mistake. Here's to course corrections and mosquito netting. Where is that Deet, anyway?

Penny: All that I try to Capture and Never Seem to...

...is in this little video. See the one on the left? That one is a lot like our little Penny. Always upside down or trying to get you to play with her, always wanting to cuddle or wrestle, or get a head massage. Ironically, that one also has a little poop on her face, so that makes me feel a little better about our little poop-eater. She is an opportunistic poop eater, so we really do all we can to reduce those opportunities. When Penny poops you clean it up, because the next time she looks at it, that fluffy green pile transforms in her mind into something edible. Despite her unique tastes, she is a bucket of joy, that one.

Where's Waldo?

There she is!

Travel for the Birds

We recently made a swift journey to visit C's grandma. Due to our limited time to prepare, we opted to take the birds with us. Kawi has gone on several small road trips with us, but we weren't quite sure how Penny would handle the trip. She was an absolute, cuddly delight. She took it easy and even enjoyed a self-inflicted massage.

Kawi endeavored to look at himself the entire time, and even serenaded himself for a few minutes...

...before disintegrating into a grumpy, stressful mess, only remedied by tucking him inside of a jacket so that he could take a much needed nap. Did you know that birds get grumpy when they don't get their naps? Many a bloody cuticle will attest...

The hotel was kind enough to waive the pet fee for our little buddies, who were not so fond of their travel cage accommodations. Kawi had no problem going right to sleep the moment his cage was covered, but Penny cried so pitifully at night that we finally uncovered her cage so that she could see us. I pulled her out of her cage early the next morning when she started to cry again and let her settle in on my chest. Penny decided that the tiny space between C's back and the pillow (while sleeping on his side) was perfectly suitable, but my vision of a Penny pancake made me think otherwise.

Penny's presence did come in handy, however, cheering C's grandma by fluffing her hair and giving her some friendly cuddles.

Deceleration

After working for 30 hours between Monday (12 hours) and Tuesday (18 hours), it only took ONE of my days off to get work off of my mind. We went to the temple in the morning which was so refreshing, after which I visited a friend, had an interview, and after our regular work-outs, we went to see True Grit.

While C was picking up dinner last night before the movie, I opted to take a nap. Kawi is a bonified, credentialed napping buddy. He fluffs up as close as possible to your face, tucks his head, and esteems himself in heaven to be so close to his beloved peeps. Penny, on the other hand, misses the mark entirely. She climbs up onto your head, clings to your hair with her strong little feet, and then bends over until she can just reach your eyelids and gives them a little tug. If you weren't aware, eyelids weren't really made for this purpose. This type of exercise is far from conducive to remedy a deficient soul who has clocked only 14 hours of sleep in three nights. 

That being ineffective in getting me to play with her, she ventured into Kawi's personal space for some of his attention. Kawi stood quietly on my left shoulder. Penny's opinion of personal space being much varied from Kawi's, she wandered over to say hello. Soon both birds were squabbling right in front of my face. 

Needless to say, Penny soon found herself sitting on the dresser with a dish of food. Deprived of my eyelids, she spent the remainder of my naptime fiddling with the glass doors of my jewelry box, because how rude to make her look at all of those pretties without being able to chew them into mangled pieces of metal!

True Grit was memorable. It was so beautifully written, I must confess, and so beautifully directed, you wouldn't think from my description that you really see horrible deaths throughout the film. It made me want to be a better writer and to get the book!


Finally freed from my pestering thoughts surrounding the conference, I woke to yet another day off! This morning was perfect. We slept in (even if we were both awake by 7AM), and I started the morning with a lengthy back scratch. This is a very important point. When we were first married, I offered to rub C's feet every night. He was so ticklish that I found myself leaping back to avoid the involuntary, lightening-fast plantar punches in my direction.


We came to the mutual conclusion that in order to dodge any suspicions about civil disputes, foot massages were best avoided altogether. In lieu of my offered masseuse services, I noticed that he frequently asked for back scratches. Not tickles, mind you, but full-on, bear-necessities, back scratches. He got his fill of them today (if that is humanly possible).


It wasn't long before both birds were awake. Soon they joined us, Penny making delightful noises because she discovered a pillow cave to explore, and Kawi just so happy to be fluffed up on C's chest for some loving head scratches. I whipped up some fluffy whole wheat pancakes for breakfast to go with the real maple syrup I bought C for Christmas.


We doodled around for a while and then C settled back down for a long winter's nap with Kawi on his chest while I readied for a shopping excursion. C woke around the time I was ready to go and offered to join me. We went rock climbing first, followed by lunch at Sweet Tomatoes, and then a trip to the mall. We broke the sound barrier of fashion and walked away with some excellent wardrobe items for my most beloved, as well as a few items for yours truly.


We shared a diet lemonade en route to our home where we found two sleepy birds. I insisted that C get in his daily workout, but as for me and my house, my sleep deprivation finally caught up with me. It is true that this year I am actually LOSING weight for the holidays {YEAH!}, but sometimes rest really does override a run. 


I have loved spending all of this time with C. I just received a call from him and he played me one of my favorite songs, so I will now share it with you! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1bFr2SWP1I&feature=fvw (sorry, no embed allowed).


Merry Christmas to all! Perhaps tomorrow I will post some vids of Penny for those who have expressed an interest in her...

And to Top Things Off...

...Penelope took a bath in my egg drop soup tonight. She had just finished taking a bath in the sink, I turned my back momentarily, and there she was, warming her puddies in my soup.

Before we got Kawi, I toyed with the idea of getting a Capuchin monkey. The more I read, the more I felt less like getting one. Diapers, throwing and wiping feces on the wall, "teenage" rampages, and suddenly I decided that all of that intelligence and power did not equate to my standard of what a pet should be.

After two years of having a reasonably low-maintenance bird, although riddled with drama, we thought we would get a second bird. She cuddles and plays and is adorable, but sometimes I feel like I wound up with that Capuchin after all...

Top 10 Things We Never Said Before Penelope Arrived...

10. Thanks, Penny, I think my hair is now fluffy enough.

9. Watch your toes. She'll even come after them with socks on!

8. You need to spend more time with Kawi. He's getting jealous.

7. Watch her. She'll eat anything she sees.

6. How is it possible for such a little critter to spread food in a five-foot radius of wherever the dish is located?

5. Looks like sweeping is now going to be a daily occurrence.

4. No, Penny, you can't take a bath in the dirty dishwater.

3. Sounds like sleeping in isn't an option anymore on a Saturday mornings.

2. No, you can't take a bath in my glass of water...

1. Stop eating your poop!

Thank goodness she is so much fun...

What Do I Want to Say, What Do I Want to Say...

First of all, thank you to my kamikaze friend who canned eleven bottles of peaches for me AND topped it off with a peach cobbler, which we snarfed down so quickly that it didn't even get its picture taken. It was one of those days where we both worked all day and skipped lunch, and then had to eat in a rush before heading off to a leadership meeting. 

She even wrote cute and funny notes on the lids, which I happened to miss when she dropped them off. She EVEN canned the peaches without sugar just for me!  

Poor Kawi. He just keeps screaming for C. I feel kind of bad for him, but would feel much worse if I didn't have a migraine coming on. I finally couldn't stand it anymore and put a towel over his cage. He got the message and settled down. Now he's just making cute noises and being friendly instead of being psycho-obsessed with his missing Peep. Other times he can just be sweet and cute, like when he's tearing apart the silk plant you can see in the background:

(Isn't his little foot funny waving around like that?)

The worst part was when we were outside on the hammock. One of our neighbors' homes sits higher than ours and someone visited them who looked like C. He was, after all, wearing a shirt and tie and C often does, especially on Sundays. Kawi whistled and belted out his very best cat-calls that he reserves just for his most beloved C. I just watched with a sad heart, knowing that whomever that man was, he wasn't getting the message.

Penelope was busily engaged doing all kinds of gymnastics, climbing upside down, and swinging on the broken hammock strands. I wish I had my camera. She put on a real show. She ventured up into the apple branches, purring contentedly as she climbed higher and higher. When it came time to go inside, she put up a fight, deciding that she had located a much more suitable home among the apple leaves than her metal cage. At last we packed it back inside before the evening chill set in on two little birds who had played long and hard outside.

Last night I went to Relief Society Meeting. The prophet Thomas S. Monson spoke, along with the female presidents of the organization. President Monson gave a beautiful talk that was so kind, so sweet, and so... needed. He discussed the need to be less judgmental of each other, especially as women, and that we need to infuse Charity into every aspect of our lives. It was the only time that I have sensed that the women of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints were being gently chastised. We need to be better overall, more gentle, more kind, more recognizant that each woman is doing her best. He gave some anecdotal stories, and loving, gentle counsel. If you are curious, here is a link to some of the highlights or you can watch the whole thing here.

On a similar note, if you want to hear what the prophet and twelve apostles and other leaders are teaching the world, we get to hear from them next weekend, starting on Saturday, ending on Sunday, for four two-hour blocks of time. I like to mention this because there are so many misconceptions about Mormons, so you can see for yourself if you'd like. One man on a plane this month told me some horrible, horrible things he has heard. I have such a hard time believing that people can think anything so terrible is true!

Anyway, if you want to, you can read what the prophet and twelve apostles are saying today, watch the conference through live streaming here next weekend, or you can visit the Mormon Messages channel on YouTube. There you have it, you have officially been invited.

Incandescent vs. Fluorescent

Something strange happened this evening. I popped the Dark Crystal into the DVD player and suddenly I found myself motivated to do strange things. You know the kind of things I am talking about, like tidying a junk drawer, or putting your shirts in color-coded order, or spraying all of the baseboards and windows to pronounce all co-habitating creepies and crawlies DOA as they move in for the winter.

{TANGENT: But did you know??? I just found out because I was hunting for a link to Dark Crystal, and there it was! The information that thrilled me! The Jim Henson Company has announced even more magic: a sequel to be released 2011! END TANGENT}

At any rate, as I listened to Skeksis battling it out for the throne, I noticed that two of our Reveal bulbs had burned out in the ceiling fan. You may be aware that Congress has passed a bill that will phase out incandescents starting in 2012 in favor of more efficient lighting solutions. A few months ago while looking for ways to spend money at Costco, I discovered a great deal on Fluorescent bulbs that were supposed to be the equivalent of Reveal bulbs, and thought I might as well give this change a shot earlier than later. 

Last week C asked me where he could find a light bulb. This was our first fluorescent in the house. He was attempting to install it in the above light fixture. The only problem is that fluorescents are too long for some of these bowl-fixtures. 

Today when I installed two fluorescents with incandescents, I discovered yet another dilemma. I will let you see if you can guess what the problem here is. Case study, CSI, detective-like: 

The other problem I discovered was this: we will lose any aesthetics with our light fixtures. Just tell me how pretty this will look with a fluorescent twisty bulb inside:

Aaand that's all folks! Unless of course you want to see how I barricaded my door with canned food for the Boy Scout food drive. What a great time of year for the drive! I can go through and calculate what food we need to rotate before early next year! Is that selfish? I think it's just practical.

And finally, Penelope's picture of the week:

No, really, she climbed up like that! Have a great Saturday! And C, your toothbrush MISSES YOU!!!

Take-off and Tantrum

Penelope cuddling with C (above) and playing in my hair (below).

It was a gusty day. I should have known better, but after prying the feathereds off of their beloved hammock, I walked over to claim my lone Braeburn apple off of my youngest apple tree. Penelope spooked Kawi, and Kawi leaped from my shoulder, but instead of hitting the ground, was swept upward by a tiny zephyr.

The real object is to keep your eye on the bird to find him once he lands. Fortunately it wasn't too far away, and I snatched him out of the neighbor's rose bush while he nibbled angrily at my hand for daring to touch him without his consent. I walked into the kitchen and snipped off his grown-out lift feathers without the normal formalities of covering his head so that he wouldn't see it coming. He screamed as if I was killing him. I then stopped by the pharmacy, so I took both birds with me.

While waiting in line, Kawi informed me how angry he was at me. As the girl rang me up for my Rx, Kawi  angrily rapped on my shoulder with his want-to-bite-you face.
"They are so good to sit there like that. Are their wings clipped?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. I just clipped this one's wings, and he's still a little upset at me."

 Kawi then let out a string of profanities that only five-month old Penelope understood.

"Oh, he really is mad! How funny!" the cashier said.

Kawi is a total ham, so I said, "He probably just needs a good distraction. Kawi, show us your wings!"

He suddenly forgot to be mad at me and showed off his wings with every ounce of flair he had in his saucy little self, delighting the cashier, and himself with all of the attention.