Dragonslayer

The moment I woke up on Thursday, I knew I would survive this week; until I went to bed on Wednesday night I wasn't so sure. Some weeks are challenging, and some weeks are downright hard, but this week was a dragon. I limped through a long heavy list of to-do items, managed the loads of stress that have been building up since July, and picked one item a day to make home livable.

Sometimes the body holds onto stress until it knows that it is finally safe to let it go, and it all seemed to surface at once. Somehow, with the opening of certain wounds, there seemed to be a plenitude of salt-rubbing going around. I made it through because I had one thing to look forward to: my littles.

My littles speak like angels. I could listen to them all day. We have conversations like this about the most interesting things:

Little #1: There is a restaurant and it has been there since 1950s. Er, I can't remember if it's 1950s or 1590s.

Me: Well, probably 1950s since Indians were the only ones living around here in the 1590s.

Little #1: Yeah, the 1950s. That had to be before electricity was created!

Me: Actually, color TV came out in the 1950s. Your Nana (grandma) had the first color television in her neighborhood! When TVs first came out, they only had a few shows on, so you would turn on the TV and there was just fuzz the rest of the time.

Little #1: So which came first, color TV or more TV shows? 

Little #1: Do you have a video game console?

Me: A wha? Oh, no. I don't. I do have a video camera. Do you know what you can do with a video camera?

Little #2: Make videos!!! Yeah!!!

Little #1: And maybe we can borrow it so I can make LOTS of movies!

{Me, contemplating 'lending' a $1500.00 HD camera to a nine year old and a seven year old, and then remembering I had seen some cheap video cameras at the store recently}

Me: It sounds like that's something you might like for your birthday.

Little #1: When is YOUR birthday?

Me: In a few weeks.

Little #1: Am I invited? Am I? Am I? Maybe I will have to get you a video game console for your birthday! Or maybe a DS, so you can take it with you!

I love seeing Little #2 go down a silly slide and jump and giggle. I love watching them both squeal in delight as turkeys hastily snatch up the corn that they toss it through the fence and as goats lick the palms of their little hands. Each laugh is like a soothing balm to my heart, and each golden word is a delight to my ears. They are so good for my soul.

Harvest Lessons

 This year I planted about five varieties of tomatoes, most of them seen here: Yellow pear, red pear, grape, and these little orange sweeties that are as tasty as candy. I planted a beefsteak variety and a roma managed to sneak in there somehow, but they were too close to the fence, so I only managed to produce green tomatoes from that batch. I like green tomatoes, so I guess this isn't a bad thing, but tomatoes need lots of sun, and I gave them partial shade. Lesson #1: More sun.

Our farm-savvy neighbors mentioned that their broccoli had caterpillars in them, but our broccoli was pristine and produced quite well this year. Unfortunately, I didn't really know what to expect with broccoli, having never grown it even as a child. I didn't know if I would just get one stalk and then it would be over? Well, it keeps on giving, and at the end of the season you just break off the individual florets rather than getting the whole stalk, otherwise it flowers, and once it flowers, it stinks. By stinks, I mean, you search for the smelly item in your fridge and pass by the fresh lovely broccoli each time without thinking it could be the culprit.

I have made a practice of steaming it right away and reheating it for this purpose. Lesson #2: Broccoli can get stinky. Lesson #3: Broccoli grows like a beanstalk with huge leaves that overshadow anything nearby, so give it plenty of room to grow!

 I hate my new macro setting on this new camera. Close-ups are NOT going well so far... but strawberries are also in need of more sun. They remained reasonably small and slug-infested this year, but then I didn't put my usual slug bait out. Lesson #4: Death to all slugs!

 I wasn't sure if those tiny little onions would really amount to much, but let me say that I have not had to hunt for Walla Wallas all summer long, and is there anything better than a Walla Walla onion, fresh from the garden? Behold, I say NAY! Lesson #5: You are insane if you don't plant Walla Wallas again next year!

 There were at least two plants that suffered from the broccoli monopoly of sunshine. The first is the eggplant. Behold my lone eggplant, sun-deprived, but so adorable! Lesson #6: If you want to EAT the eggplant, more sun, and keep it away from the broccoli.

A week ago my neighbor brought by some of the green peppers from her garden. Shown here after spending a week in the fridge, her peppers were more gorgeous than store peppers and tasted better! Oh, and that shriveled little runt below it? My lone green pepper. Alas, the second casualty of the broccoli monopoly. Lesson #7: Give us-us SUN!

No photos, but the pears and apples (which I have discussed in the past), were gorgeous and tasty as usual. I did get a couple of plums off of our new tree, a handful of gorgeous raspberries, and a few cherries. Who knows, we might actually get a peach or two! Next year is our healthy-tree year, the time when I will apply all of the great knowledge from our arborist, since I didn't have time this year. Lesson #8: Prune the apples less aggressively, and wait until March to help give them a healthy start...

Hate is Not the Opposite of Love

"I am in really good shape right now," C said last night as we ran to an authentic mex-restaurant to share some fajitas. "I ran six miles at 8 minute miles and didn't even feel winded!" I may be biased, but I whole-heartedly agree. I keep telling him he needs to run a qualifier pace for the Boston Marathon, considering he was so close with his latest marathon time. I don't think he has grasped the vision of how amazing it is to have an entire city come out to support a marathon, and so I persist. That just has to be thrilling!

C has been particularly good to me lately, despite my sleep-deprived grumpitude. He has been keeping the sink free from dishes, AND unloading them AND reloading them! Oh, and sweeping! Of course, with Penelope, that is a daily task now. She is so incredibly talented at spreading food in a five foot radius of wherever her dish is positioned.

We had one argument this past week and it went like this... I had received three hours of sleep, and spend the rest of the time programming. C woke up and was in a hurry to get to work. I walked upstairs and said, "I could use a hug."

"Well, just wait."

"How long?"

"Maybe five minutes." I walked off, trying to decide what to do for five minutes to kill time waiting to get a much needed hug. Later, I walk out of the bathroom, and C immediately gave me a hug.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I had to wait five minutes for a hug!" I said. Don't judge me too harshly. Sleep deprivation does this to you. We then exchanged some words about how tired I was and he asked why I didn't just go to bed, and I said I had to go to work, and I told him to be patient with me because I was such a mess without sleep, stuff like that. And then we had a make-up dinner later that night, which was loverly, and a couple of days later, C showed up with some flowers. "Because you need them," he said.

We are a silly pair, but I never can get enough of that man, rain or shine. He is such an amazing guy. I can honestly say that I have never felt regret for marrying him, even when we disagree. And did you know that it is possible to still feel a ton of love in your heart toward someone even when you are upset that they made you wait five minutes for a hug? I guess I always figured that logically, one emotion is in play at a time, but it simply isn't the case. You can adore someone while feeling frustrated or angry or sad.

My mission president once told me, "Hate is not the opposite of love. Hate means that you care enough about someone to feel something toward them. Apathy is the opposite of love. It means you don't care enough to feel anything about someone." I have never felt hate toward C, and I don't think I ever will, but he's always tickling my thoughts and my heart. I tell him to be safe every day because I can't imagine life without him.

"It Tears at the Very Fabric of Our Existence..."

After my sleep deprived Saturday cheering on the manly-man, I pulled an all-nighter on Sunday to finish my latest Computer Science class. I completed and turned in all three assignments in about two weeks. I considered getting an extension, but then, who wants to do something like that when you can pull it off in the necessary time? It included a lot of information I already know, like understanding kernels and semaphores and race condition, so it was just a matter of plug and chug, but then there was this multidimensional array programming assignment.

Let me just say that over the past five days I have averaged 3-4 hours of sleep a night. Today was a major meeting day. I have most of my chairs selected and am offloading responsibilities to them. They are amazing, every one. My treasurer is, well, very busy, so he wasn't my first choice, but my first choice was just made the director over finance so he is taking a lesser role working as a co-chair. Ah, but my luncheons and banquets and local arrangements chairs? Glory be. I just let them run. The Expo Hall/Vendors chair is the same way! The Public Relations chairs... same. A/V chairs - awesome. Oh, and the website chair? And the program chairs, especially one of them is doing glorious things with the program and his committee. I could go on and on.

I had them all together today for a meeting. My brain wasn't working very well due to sleep deprivation, and fortunately I am capable of running a productive meeting with little effort. We met virtually since we are scattered all over, so I ran the meeting from my desk. Each time I needed to speak I squeezed my eyes shut to focus and keep things going, otherwise I would drift.

After getting updates from everyone, I filled them in on some of our critical path items. We finally have locked down a registration system that meets our needs, so I shared the prototype to the chairs today, asked them all for plans and timelines by next Wednesday, and showed them the mock-ups for the website. The Website Chair and his committee far exceeded my expectations. The logo impressions sheets came through today. I told them they need to go visit a Japanese Garden and examine some of the structures there to get the right idea since they didn't quite capture it in their array of options.

 I still am trying to get a 2012 succession chair in place, so I invited him to attend as a shadow. His director needs to approve the shift in responsibilities, so I will know next week if I have him. They need to get started right away with the planning, and shadow our short-term 2011 team to make 2012 come off even better. Then we had the executive team meeting, which I also managed to pull off without much drift. We all left the meeting with deliverables to meet a critical Friday deadline. We are moving forward, but this is only four months away. Tomorrow we have a marketing relations day with Beyond, so my critical conference items will have to take place subtly while attending meetings and trying to remain engaged, including a business lunch and the need to look our very best.

I left early today, having worked until 10:30 PM one night this week to meet a deadline. As I left the building, I heard the words, "It Tears at the Very Fabric of Our Existence..." I looked back to see an employee of the downstairs call center, middle-aged with shoulder-length curly hair and a full beard treatment to go with it, speaking on his cell phone. Intriguing, I thought. I wish I knew what it is that tears at the very fabric of our existence. Perhaps the deteriorating ozone? What could it be? Your thoughts count here. What was the mystery topic of this man's conversation? Please feel free to comment below:

Adrenaline Rush

There are those who live their lives on the edge, teetering between life and death because they feel more alive in that space than with both feel on the ground. That, for them, is the thrill of living. They thrive on gulping down fear like a bucket of water after three days in the desert. They refuse to live life abstemiously.

I take a different perspective. For me, the thrill of living life does not come in leaping off of cliffs or hurling myself out of a plane, rather it comes from stretching. I have always considered myself rubber; someone who always has room to grow and improve. Ever since I can remember, I have taken living life quite seriously; after all, what you do in this life determines your eternity. That's not to say that I don't have fun, but actions and words should require reflection and deliberation rather than leaving it to chance or whim.

C ran a marathon this weekend. He'd hiked a huge mountain three days earlier and could barely walk the day before. He had only run fifteen miles prior to the race, and yet there he was, looking strong and amazing, and not just looking strong, but BEING strong! He finished with flying colors, 22nd in his division when he'd hoped to be in the top 25. There's nothing like achieving a goal unless you get to see the love of your life achieve a goal. I was undeniably proud of him for pushing through the pain and pulling out a personal best time. Nicely done, you sexy athlete, you!

Attending a marathon event is unlike any other event, except maybe graduation with a Master's degree or a Doctorate. The feeling in the air is tangible. Normal, everyday people have trained their bodies to do something spectacular, and they are here at the culminating event with bells on.








I have run in several races, but a marathon isn't just a race. It is endurance, stamina, mental power, losing toenails, getting-chaffed-so-bad-that-you-almost-worship-your-body-glide-stick, a true athlete's event. Speaking of Body Glide, I cannot truly describe what it is like to finally learn that there is something that can help with those friction points. Let's just say you NEVER share your stick with anyone else...

We ran into several friends the night before the race at the pasta dinner and they all asked me if I was running, too. Argh! I so wish I was! I wanted to drop everything and start training again! Still, it was nice to have some friendly faces around who knew us and could share in the excitement with us.

With races that are closer to home, I like to put up encouraging messages and notes to keep C motivated. At Mile 23, I found a loverly man who was writing chalk notes on the road. I asked if I could write a few as well, and he generously offered me as much chalk as I wanted:

I also wrote a few more, including, "Enjoy the Journey," because I decided that I wanted to enjoy running the race, and not just finishing it. I focussed on taking in the entire experience of my race, the people chatting, the little girl crying out, "Way to go, Mom!" and running along side her for a mile or so, the people cheering, that red bronco with music blaring, the farm animals, the sun filtering through the shadows... I look back and think of the race, not the finish line, and that is a beautiful memory (except for the last three miles, when I kept telling C, "Say something happy. I need happy thoughts.").

Way to go, C, for being amazing in every way, and good luck on your first day at the new job! You will rock!!! Oh, and my adrenaline rush? I guess that will have to wait for another day...

Give Us Us C!

Tonight during bird/hammock time, I noticed blood on Kawi's wings. When a bird's feathers are first coming in, they grow out of long, straw-like shafts. If one of these shafts breaks, the shaft acts like a needle drawing blood out of the bird until there isn't any left. Even if you catch it early, the bird may never recover from the blood loss, so blood on a bird isn't something to take lightly.

Kawi and I took a trip to his pet store where the owner, Esther, greeted him and he jabbered sweetly to her about some secret those two hold. It always turns out so badly, and yet each time he still loves her again. I pointed out the spotting and worried I had cut his wings too close, something I have never done before. Kawi is one of those rare birds who can still fly with his wings trimmed, so you have to keep them extra trim.

At first she didn't find anything, but something was causing him pain, so she looked closer. Sure enough, he had a new feather coming in that was broken and bleeding. She suspected that Kawi had been biting at it. In moments she pulled the two inch shaft out, covered in blood, and poor Kawi was so traumatized that not even a visit to the other birds snapped him out of it. I kept Penelope in her cage the rest of the night so he could be post-surgery-bird without any worries.

Earlier he wandered through the house searching for C. He searched the rooms, the closets, the bathrooms...  C will be home tomorrow, and we will all be so glad to have him home again. See a video of Penelope clowning around on the hammock today. Maybe someday she'll learn some moves like these:

What Do I Want to Say, What Do I Want to Say...

First of all, thank you to my kamikaze friend who canned eleven bottles of peaches for me AND topped it off with a peach cobbler, which we snarfed down so quickly that it didn't even get its picture taken. It was one of those days where we both worked all day and skipped lunch, and then had to eat in a rush before heading off to a leadership meeting. 

She even wrote cute and funny notes on the lids, which I happened to miss when she dropped them off. She EVEN canned the peaches without sugar just for me!  

Poor Kawi. He just keeps screaming for C. I feel kind of bad for him, but would feel much worse if I didn't have a migraine coming on. I finally couldn't stand it anymore and put a towel over his cage. He got the message and settled down. Now he's just making cute noises and being friendly instead of being psycho-obsessed with his missing Peep. Other times he can just be sweet and cute, like when he's tearing apart the silk plant you can see in the background:

(Isn't his little foot funny waving around like that?)

The worst part was when we were outside on the hammock. One of our neighbors' homes sits higher than ours and someone visited them who looked like C. He was, after all, wearing a shirt and tie and C often does, especially on Sundays. Kawi whistled and belted out his very best cat-calls that he reserves just for his most beloved C. I just watched with a sad heart, knowing that whomever that man was, he wasn't getting the message.

Penelope was busily engaged doing all kinds of gymnastics, climbing upside down, and swinging on the broken hammock strands. I wish I had my camera. She put on a real show. She ventured up into the apple branches, purring contentedly as she climbed higher and higher. When it came time to go inside, she put up a fight, deciding that she had located a much more suitable home among the apple leaves than her metal cage. At last we packed it back inside before the evening chill set in on two little birds who had played long and hard outside.

Last night I went to Relief Society Meeting. The prophet Thomas S. Monson spoke, along with the female presidents of the organization. President Monson gave a beautiful talk that was so kind, so sweet, and so... needed. He discussed the need to be less judgmental of each other, especially as women, and that we need to infuse Charity into every aspect of our lives. It was the only time that I have sensed that the women of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints were being gently chastised. We need to be better overall, more gentle, more kind, more recognizant that each woman is doing her best. He gave some anecdotal stories, and loving, gentle counsel. If you are curious, here is a link to some of the highlights or you can watch the whole thing here.

On a similar note, if you want to hear what the prophet and twelve apostles and other leaders are teaching the world, we get to hear from them next weekend, starting on Saturday, ending on Sunday, for four two-hour blocks of time. I like to mention this because there are so many misconceptions about Mormons, so you can see for yourself if you'd like. One man on a plane this month told me some horrible, horrible things he has heard. I have such a hard time believing that people can think anything so terrible is true!

Anyway, if you want to, you can read what the prophet and twelve apostles are saying today, watch the conference through live streaming here next weekend, or you can visit the Mormon Messages channel on YouTube. There you have it, you have officially been invited.