Sweet Motherhood

The events of the past four years have had me on the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Four years ago I was weeks away from putting on the biggest event I had ever been involved in, losing sleep, hoping it would all come together in a spectacular way. Magically it did! Everyone in the industry suddenly wanted... ME. That felt good, but I didn't want them. I wanted something different. I wanted a big belly full of baby and an excuse to put on extra weight. I wanted late nights and poopy diapers and crying and warm little bodies in my arms. I wanted snotty noses wiped on my shirt and food splashed on the walls and floor. I wanted toys scattered across the floor and tiny socks hiding between the couch cushions. I wanted motherhood. And magically (with the help of a symphony of injections and doctors), they came. Two perfect little angels. 

And then he came, in the midst of the utter turmoil, he came, and rained sunshine and beauty on the thunderous, dark days; my darling, bright boy come to complete my trio from heaven. Sweet motherhood, and then single motherhood, and I can't believe I am so happy here.