Saturday, November 14, 2009

Progress 0, 1 UP!

C has been working for hours and hours on his talk, listening to it over and over, cutting it down here, buttoning it up there, adding a touch of paint everywhere. Timing it over and over so that he WON'T go over! So different from me! Of course I prepare carefully, but I just want to say, "It's okay, honey, there are always the teleprompters!" (Not really, but with the amount of time he has invested . . .)

Tonight we went out with some friends. I felt really bad for them. They wanted to take us out and we were off, then on, then off, then they knocked at the door at the moment I couldn't answer it, then they left a message and drove to the restaurant, and after all of that, they still like us, and we still had a lovely time. I think they mentioned at least five times, "Wow, you guys are just SO busy!"

It has been an emotionally disturbing week. I won't bore you with the details, but learning to let consequences fall is a very hard thing to do, and then when you finally muster up the courage to let that happen, something backfires, and you have to start all over again, so after three or four of these re-starts, we are right back where we started with ZERO progress on letting the consequences fall, and my patience is running oh so thin. Heavenly Father has got that whole, let consequences ride with the actions thing down, but me - well, I have a long, long way to go before I can measure up.

I feel like my patience has been napalmed from every direction this week, and I confess, barren wasteland is really not my color. On a happier note, Mom took me to lunch on Thursday, and gave me the very best movie in the whole wide world: UP! Any movie that can make C cry in the first ten minutes. . .! And when I say cry, I mean, tears actually flowed from his tear ducts. That has happened maybe two other times in our ten plus years of marriage. I also received a gift certificate to one of my fave Theatres. Did I ever mention that I was once an actress? Not a singing, dancing, actress, but a Meryl Streep hopeful - - pre-Mama Mia, that is. Oh, why, oh, why did she go there???!!!

That's about all I can muster up for now. Oh, I did take some of my frustration yesterday and made something good happen. I submitted something. I don't write for fame or money, but I just needed to feel productive, so just the fact that I submitted is a big fat deal. It isn't a heavy-duty, serious pursuit, but I did it, and now I have a surprise to look forward to, good or bad! Oh, and I did write a song this past week, lyrics and music, and started another piece I like much better. Just because I can, I guess. My audience really liked it.

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