Thursday, April 7, 2011

Buyer's Remorse

I rarely have buyer's remorse. I use the term buyer's remorse here to apply to much more than just financial decisions. We all have experienced the sinking feeling that burns into our hearts and minds the realization of a bad decision.

There are very few moments in time that I have looked back with regret on decisions I have made. While I may make some course corrections based on what I have learned from making certain choices, I rarely wish to recant my decision. The lessons I have learned from said decisions are so important to me that I often conclude that the pain was worthwhile.

That being said, there is more than one "path to the top of the mountain." This is where course corrections come in handy. Nobody is perfect, and it's impossibly selfish to try to hold an individual in a frozen snapshot of time and think that this is who they are. We are dynamic, ever changing, ever morphing individuals. Strangely, there are those who refuse to let us change. Change takes a great deal of time to take effect, and even when we have changed, sometimes it takes much longer (if ever) for those around us to recognize or accept the fact that we have changed.

In contrast there are great and noble individuals who have the magical ability to not automatically label our behavior as "good" or "bad." Instead they accept us completely, unconditionally, with all of our dynamic quirks and isms. They create an environment in which change is inevitable. You can't help but want to be better when you are around them, and if you choose not to then that is your own fault.

These individuals also recognize that when we are in life's vice, we behave differently than we would when we are not under these pressures. These individuals are rare, and so we must become this unconditional individual who creates opportunities for change in ourselves. We can't rely on others to recognize when we are under abnormal amounts of pressure. It is our responsibility to know and recognize these stressful behaviors in ourselves so that we may adjust accordingly. I never thought I would say this, but we can actually control our own stress and turn it into something productive!

Some opportunities wash up on the shores of our lives on very rare occasions. Sometimes we look admiringly at those opportunities, but don't dare touch them because they simply look too good to be true. Some such opportunities have been percolating in our lives these days.

I have been working to recognize stressful behavior in myself lately. This week I made a decision based on some incomplete information and was immediately seized with these suffocating vice-like grips that felt familiarly like buyer's remorse. I knew that I needed to correct something to make it right.

I have always wanted to learn how to avoid going into stress, because I never quite feel like myself in that space. When I am in stress mode, I have a harder time creating an environment of calm for those around me. Everyone is different, and lately I have learned that certain decisions create enormous amounts of stress for me. To avoid going into stress, I need more time, more information, and to share additional information with others. I have also learned that it is my responsibility to pursue these needs.

My buyer's remorse decision didn't really have a return receipt, but I had to be willing to ask. It was a difficult conversation, but I recanted my decision and asked for more time. I feel that my request for more time was a great personal success. I was accountable to myself to pursue a solution, and this was a step forward on the path of change for me.

1 comment:

  1. I've no doubt that through big decisions and small you are doing your best. It is so hard for me to admit that I've made a mistake, so you should feel good about your efforts! We are all works in progress.


You may also want to read:

Related Posts with Thumbnails