Saturday, October 23, 2010

Just When You Think You Know...

I knew I married a practical man. He is steady, loyal, and consistent. This is the type of man that women want to marry once they are sane enough to stop getting so distracted by the men that aren't good for them. This is the one blessing of divorce: I started my analysis of relationships at age 12, resulting in thirteen years of expertise on the matter by the time I said "Yes." I was not without my bad decisions along the way, but I knew what I was getting with this one.
We all dream as girls of our Mr. Knightleys and our Gilbert Blythes, but rarely do we find someone with the sensitivity and romantic tendencies of such heroic husbands without a long list of baggage to boot, whether that be an emotional roller coaster ride or some floppy sense of work ethic. I opted for the rock, the solid foundation, the one who would be a wonderful father and husband in all of the most critical ways. Sporadic is fun for a while, but it doesn't necessarily make a good father, and it doesn't pay the bills. Emotional sensitivity can be great on good days, but when things are getting rough, those are the ones who fold under life's pressures and make bad decisions.

Romance in our world has always been there, but at a different level. He is considerate, respectful, kind, generous, and a great husband by every measure. He never leaves the toilet seat up, he helps around the house when he is able, he never needs motivation to take care of the cars, keep things tidy, he never needs nagging to take care of the yard, and faithfully attends church meetings and always comes home at night. He is amazing with children, youth, and adults of every age, he is sweet and gentle with our little birds, and I never worry that he will be unemployed. This is the type of man who would never be so proud that he would think he was above working at a fast food joint to take care of his family despite the fact that he currently is an administrator over seven or eight huge programs. 
Sometimes you think you know what you are getting, and for eleven years he has not let me down. Over the past several days, however, something has changed.
C has tapped into his Mr. Knightliness, his Gilbert Blytheness, and I am not sure where it is coming from. I assure you it's not from watching my favorite chic-flicks, because I learned early on in marriage that men, or more specifically, MY man doesn't find the emotional intricacies of a chic-flick mentally stimulating or entertaining.
Date planning often has taken the form of: 
"What do you want to do?" 
I dunno, what do you want to do? 
"I don't care, just pick something."
But lately, C has been taking point. After a delicious dinner the other night while staying at our favorite Staycation spot, C said, "I am going to take you on a drive. Is that okay?" I was delighted. His idea, his initiative... 
 "Let me know anytime you want to stop and take pictures." He offered. Usually I ask, and he obliges, but he offered even before I asked. +1!
Then, just when I didn't think it could get any better, he pulled over at a beautiful overlook and we had one of THOSE moments...
You know the ones; the moment where Mr. Knightly kisses Emma, or where Gilbert and Anne kiss for the first time... The ones that make your heart tickle and sigh in the movies, and the one that you have been waiting for the whole movie?    
"Who are you and what have you done with my husband?" I asked. No, I really did. 
And when she gets flustered and frustrated, doesn't every woman want the man who takes her in his arms and kisses her - not a peck, but a go-go-power-rangers-recharging kiss. And doesn't she want to hear something comforting and sweet like, "I am so amazed at you being able to keep the house looking so neat and clean with everything that's going on!" ++++1!!!!!!
Or after a twelve hour day at work, turning around the next morning and rushing to get out the door for a meeting, he sneaks up behind you and wraps his arms around you. "You really are one amazing woman, you know that?" Later you receive a text in the middle of your hectic day asking if he can switch out cars with you to get the oil changed because it's his day off. You tell him he can't get mad at you for how messy the car is because you didn't know he was going to be driving it. 
After a week so full of demands and challenges that at the end of the day you come home and collapse on the bed because you have nothing left to give. He lets you rest, and then takes you out to dinner (he just drives to one of your favorite places - no decisions necessary!!!) in your perfectly clean, perfectly detailed car.
This morning, he put his arm around me and kissed me and said, "I wouldn't have you any other way." I think I could get used to this.
I confess, I thought this would just go away, but it hasn't yet, so who knows. Maybe an already magnificent man can really get even more magnificent, and maybe what you thought would be a practical love story can turn out to be a fairytale after all... 

1 comment:

  1. Sigh. well done C, well done. And a beautifully told recollection. Thanks for sharing.


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