Monday, November 8, 2010

Priceless Life

Yesterday a good friend came in to speak to us at church. While he said nothing of it at the time, he has been fighting brain cancer for the past three years. The normal survival rate for his type of cancer is around three months, but he has lived to see his two sons serve missions, one of them has returned, and the second will return early next year.

Some time ago, the family respectfully asked that inquiries about his condition cease and that the family have the opportunity to come to and from church to worship as they would. That is how I would be as well. A few people knew about my foot, but I managed to squeeze the bruised and swollen thing into a shoe to avoid the barrage of caring questions.

As he stood to speak to us, I thought about life. I thought about how sometimes lately I have been so unhappy. I have been dancing wildly to change who I am for others, and I am miserable. I am constantly on edge, and running a wild balancing act. What do I have to be miserable about? I have an amazing husband, a lovely home, loving family and friends, a job, and many other rich blessings. I have nothing that should make me so unhappy, and so I decided that I am finished trying to change for other people. I will change for me, but there is no way I can please everyone.

In the Old Testament, the Lord asked Jeremiah to watch a potter working the potter's wheel. The clay was marred, and the potter started over to make something better. I need to trust that the Lord can do that with me, but in order to do so, I have to listen and trust; not the fickle and conflicting opinions of those who barely know me and think they know my heart and intentions, but trust the one being who has never and will never let me down. He knows my heart even when nobody else does.

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