Sunday, May 9, 2010

Attacked by Alien Lifeforms and More Adventures from the Recursion Zone

There are the skeptics, those who would question the title of this post. {Dee-dee-dee-dee, dee-dee-dee-dee...}
But truly, how do you explain a flock of green globs attacking your car in mid-day?

Let's begin at the beginning. Saturday. 1:00 PM. Mr. C arrives to pick up Ms. A in une voiture avec style.
{Well, of course it's not ours. Mr. C just happens to know people in Corvette places. Just stay with me here...}

Ahem, as I was saying, picked me up in a "carriage" in style to take me to enjoy my favorite little South American Cuisine.As it turns out, the Salsa bar is delightfully diverse, not to mention the bakery with Dulce Pan and Mexican wedding cakes.
Following the meal we thought we'd burn off some steam on the chessboard, during which time Mr. C found himself in a quandary. I should have suspected something was awry when I whopped his royal hiney in a show-stopping reversal checkmate.

As we departed, we suddenly became aware of the fact that our fuel had indeed been depleted, to the point of warning signals, red flashing lights, and blaring sirens. Oddly, Mr. C's brain was overcome with an unrestrained urge to follow the road to its bitter end while Ms. A helplessly looked on, wondering if her shoes could make the five mile journey to safety when ma voiture was rendered a useless pieces of shiny red metal.At last his transitory state was shaken off, and the carriage arrived safely at a refueling station. To help her most beloved, Ms. A purchased one extra large unleaded algific potation, and there beheld a most unusually ample paratrophic device! She knew it must belong to her one true beloved for his ultimate refreshment. Mr. C's response: It's like drinking from the Alaskan pipeline! {This message is brought to you by enhanced descriptions of a soda and a straw}
While journeying to the final destination, a most ornate habitation created a magnetic pull so powerful that is caused our passing vehicle to do a rubber-squealing U-turn, and would not release its hold without a Kodak Moment!
Alas, once the journey commenced, this is when tragedy struck. At first we thought we were traveling through a swarm of insects. Upon closer inspection, however, we discovered the ALIEN LIFEFORMS FLYING TOWARD US THROUGH THE AIR!!!They clung to our vehicle like a swarm of leeches, and refused to relinquish their deadly hold! We helplessly pondered our fate. Would their acidic forms burn through the frame like water through snow, or would they would morph into some spectacular creature and crush us in a single step?
In the end, Ms. A's botanical brain concluded that the pulpy masses were actually algae offspring, spreading their wings to find a happy soggy place to proliferate their species.

This morning, after donning my jewelry making hat, and creating my newest custom-made Mother's Day enchantment, I spun together a loverly corsage (sorry, I forgot to take a photo), and raced off to attend church with my mom. As my sister pinned the corsage on my mom, she leaned over with a smile and said, "You're making me look bad!"
My response? "You have no idea. You forgot to send me a
pic of your kiddo!" (Thus the empty frame below)
Three hours later, I enjoyed a happy-tearful mom-daughter chat, and gave mom her gift and card, then hurried home to attend yet another three hours of church and teach a lesson to the adult church members on Deuteronomy. No thanks to my own efforts, it went beautifully. I arrived home and took two very excited birds out to the hammock to enjoy the last few warm moments of the day. (I kid you not. Kawi gives his excited "really, really?" calls and flaps his wings like he is going to take off to the moon or something every time I get near the back door.)And after a delightful picnic-style dinner of National Hebrew (100% beef brisket!!!) hot dogs, baked Cheetos, diet rootbeer floats and celery, we all snuggled down on the big chair for a least until Kawi and Coco woke us up by competing over our fingers to get their heads scratched.
And they all lived happily ever after. The End.

1 comment:

  1. OK ladies, if you noticed, I have that "look" on my face. You know the one, the look that talented women put on the faces of men all the time. Where we thought we were in control, in charge, winning or whatever, and then suddenly in the end we found out that you were in control the whole time! Women! :)


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