Thursday, July 8, 2010

Self Esteem Has Only Two Sources

I have one of those amazing friends who has a heart of gold. I have known her for over twenty years, and even though she may on occasion say something that comes off the wrong way, her intentions are forever benign. Several months ago she shared with me a concern about her daughter's confidence and self-esteem. I offered some suggestions, which were undoubtedly unhelpful. A little later I asked how things were going with her daughter. I have ever adored those noble souls who first look indoors to see if they can help change the weather somehow, and she sweetly replied that she  realized that she could do a better job of watching what she says to her daughter, and that it has helped. 

There are only two components to building self-esteem, according to the C-meister (psychotherapist), and there is great controversy over whether or not self-confidence may be taught outside of these two things: 
1. Skill-building/mastery 
2. Unconditional love

I love that my friend took a look at what she was saying and opted for greater love. I also have to say thank GOODNESS that those who did not grow up in a loving, nurturing home STILL have a chance to be confident! 

Today I received a call. It was from an out-of-state area code, and so I figured it was either a solicitor or a TV Program Director. I answered to find that it was the latter. They were minutes away from meeting with the network, and had forgotten to ask me one important question. 

Now this was the type of question that has the potential to make or break a deal. This was the type of question that makes you reach deep, because you know that by answering, you are sealing your fate. It's like those lines in the grocery store. You look to your left...
You look to your right...and suddenly you realize that you are surrounded. You have to make a choice. 
Do you succumb to the enticings of cheap and hollow caloric consumption, or do you rise above? Do you feed on the libelous and defamatory offerings of the paparazzi, or do you look at the ceiling to resist the urge to consume the petty gossip and privacy-violating headlines that shout at you from glossy, colorful pages? 

Alas, there I sat, with the question ringing in my ears. Of course I knew how I would answer. There was no question about that. The question that ran through my mind at that moment was this: would my answer determine my fate? Was I being discriminated against? Was this how it felt for so many who were discriminated against because of their skin color or ancestry? Why should such a thing matter? It seemed to be an irrelevant question upon which to make their decision, and yet, I answered. I am not ashamed of what I am, and nothing in this world would change my answer, like so many before me who had guns held to their heads and were threatened with death if they would not deny who they were. "Yes, I am." I replied. I am a "Mormon," a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.


  1. Great post my dear. And damn straight, you should be however you are, no holding back.

    Also, loving the look around here, just wonderful! Congratulations.

  2. Oh and hope you don't mind. I linked to you at Parental Guidance Recommended.


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